I Do NOT Heart My Teeth

Mama, if you are reading this, stop now, please. Really. It’s for your own good.

So, it’s been a while since I’ve been to the dentist. Since 1998, to be exact. Let me explain. I have really bad teeth. I know, some might say that’s a reason to go more often to the dentist, but those people obviously have good teeth.

I brush. I floss. Yet each trip to the dentist involves a) one or more fillings and b) the dentist getting mad at me like I haven’t brushed my teeth since the last time I saw him. So, I did the adult thing once I became an adult. I stopped dealing with it.

It’s worked out really well until now. Now being when I bit into some hummus on a tortilla and felt a crunch. The crunch being a small (but not that small) piece of my back molar. As I tried in vain to check out the damage, I noticed a minefield of ominous looking spots and one little hole. Basically, my mouth looks like a before on a reality makeover show.

Since I’m working 9-8:30 right now, I can’t go to the dentist until Saturday (which my insurance doesn’t cover, thanks for asking). So, until then, I’m going to be crapping myself over just how painful this is going to be. That’s a little pun, see, because it’s going to be expensive and light on painkillers, Korean-style. “Novocaine, you don’t need no stinking Novocaine!”

It’s not a great start to The Year of Saving Money.